Anger is a normal and natural emotion, and there is nothing wrong with having feelings - you are human, after all. You have the power to decide how to deal with this emotion you are experiencing. Anger management does not mean holding anger in. It does not mean that you will never feel angry. Anger management is managing the behavioural responses that can arise when you are feeling angry.
Everyone knows what anger is, but how do you express it without hurting others or hurting yourself? If you can learn to express it appropriately, anger can become a positive emotion in our lives instead of wreaking havoc. Uncontrolled anger can cost you your relationships, your job, the respect of your loved ones. Do this self-diagnostic test and see where you stand with anger today:
Do you have a tendency to criticise others?Do you keep things in until you finally explode?Do you get upset when others disagree with you?
When you become angry, do you withdraw from people?Are you satisfied with the way you settle differences with others?
Do you have a tendency to take anger out on someone other than the person you’re angry with?Do you become depressed easily?
When a problem arises between you and someone else, do you discuss it without losing control of your emotions?
Do you often act politely even though you’re fuming?Do you tend to feel very guilty or bad after getting angry?
RULES OF ANGER MANAGEMENT
1. Stop, think and look at the bigger picture. This rule is about time management. Time management is about creating time to think about the consequences between the event and the reaction.
2. It's OK to have a different opinion. Opinions are not facts! They are only what you think.
3. Learn – and in order to learn, listen carefully. Observe – notice the other person's body language. Verify – clarify information. Empathise – Keep your heart open.
4. Use your support network. A support network is a group of people you can call on when you need to talk to someone so your anger doesn't get out of control.
5. Keep a Journal. This is a powerful way of not internalising your anger. Your journal can be used as and when you need to. Record how you feel about what happened, and your views on a problem. By using your journal it will bring clarity to the situation.
6. Don't take anything personally. Nothing others do or say is because of you. What others do and say is a projection of their own reality onto yourself. When you are immune to the opinions, projections, behaviours and actions of others, you will not be a victim of needless suffering any longer!
• Breathe deeply, count to 7 on the in breath and 11 on the out breath.
• Remind yourself to "KEEP YOUR COOL". • Remove yourself from the situation physically and emotionally if possible.
• Count backwards from 20 to 1.
• Visualise a calm tranquil place, e.g. sea or mountains, for about 2 minutes.
• Let go of any expectations you might have. • Remember life is unfair!
• Relax! Yoga, meditation and swimming are good for de-stressing, and/or consider taking up a relaxing hobby, e.g. gardening. • Relax in a bath whilst listening to chilled music. • Go for a walk, ideally in a park or open space. • Listen or dance to music. • Inhale relaxing aromatherapy oils, e.g. lavender.